Thursday, July 25, 2013


You want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

I feel fat. That's the truth!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Miss me?

I bet you do.

Not much to report. I've been in boot camp. I boxed again and sucked. Think I might have thrown my back out. We had to do these. NO. That was definitely what did it. I've been eating worse than I should be. It hasn't been a complete shit show but not the best either. Kinda just so so.

In non fitness/food news, lots going on at home.

Getting new floors this Friday. Woohoo! I also painted my living room last weekend. The walls have gone from turquoise to grey. BORING. I'm planning on loading the place up with artwork and colourful furniture to make up for it. Right now, too plain for me.

None of these things matter, I don't even know why I'm posting.

I came across a daily horoscope yesterday that said something like "You're going to make a mistake. It'll be huge but you'll get over it and you're going to be a success". So this terrifies me right now. It's a critical time at work right now and mistakes can't happen. I'm not much for horoscopes but still, it creeped me out. But maybe I came across that for good reason. Reading that has made me extra careful at work so that I don't make mistakes. Still, bound to happen. Meh.

MK is working hard plugging away at a big time work thing. It's big time. She's stressed. I mention her cause she reads this.

This one's for you.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


I've been working out consistently for well over two years now. There's no doubt about it, I've changed both physically and mentally. There is one thing though that I feel has not changed at all. I still appear weak.

Where is this coming from? I tell ya.

Last night's boot camp was a challenge to get a huge list of stuff done in one hour. They were standard exercises. Stuff like kettle bell swings, MMA push ups, frog leaps, burpees, dead lifts, chest press.. a whole bunch. You had to do 30 of each. It's all good and fine but why do I always come out last? ALWAYS. There's no way I can ever get these done in an hour. Few people do get it done, which is fair. It's always the extra fit girls. I'm not saying I fail miserably, I get through about 80% of it. Why am I always so F-ing slow? There's girls that I see that seem like they're new to this and they fly through it.

Here is my thought.

I use heavy weights. I don't skimp out and go for 5 pounders. I will start with 10 on each hand at all times. I also always make sure I am using proper form. The exercise means nothing if you're doing it wrong.  Because of this, I am slow.

So you know what? No, I'm not weak. F you other girls. The point is I'm doing what I can. At the end of each class, I come out drenched in sweat. That's more than I can say for the other lululemon clad "Let's go for a Starbucks after this" girls. Hmph!

Sorry, I had to rant about that one.

Monday, July 8, 2013

It's me!

No posting about food. I've been doing ok without this blog. Although, it is kind of weird not posting every friggin thing. I'm so used to making mental notes of what I eat (or taking pics!) that every time I eat something, that urge is still there. I guess that's what happens when you've been doing this for so long.

Anyways, I've decided to use this blog for fun things for now. Here is one.

I'm currently in renovation mode. New kitchen, new floors, painting walls. In an effort to make life easier for painting (and for my floor installer), I moved a ton of my loose stuff from the living room into my bedroom. All the small things that just get in the way. I randomly put them in my room. The result was this...
I love how sometimes no effort makes things just work better than when you're trying. This could be said with fashion too. Being a very matchy matchy person usually drives me nuts. I want all colours to match, right down to the details. I like when everything is on point and "goes". I'm trying to let this habit go. There's beauty in mis matched stuff too. I don't know how to put these words onto paper (screen... whatever). Basically, sometimes there's beauty in things just coming together naturally with no effort. I always notice this in change rooms. I'll take a bunch of stuff in there with me and just kinda hang them there with no thought. Then I look at the array of colours and patterns and sometimes just want to snap a pic. Next time, I will.

Anyways, I went on a bit of a rant there.


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Over it.

I'm over this blog. I've had it for what, over two years? I've lost 30 pounds and am having hella trouble losing just like another 5. I never stopped working out. My eating is.. so so. I just am not feeling it anymore. All I keep posting is my ups and downs and I don't think it's a good read for anyone, including myself. I initially started this blog as a tool to A) Keep track of what I eat so that I can get a beter of understanding of what I'm doing right and wrong and B) Holds me accountable for what I eat. I've always been fully honest on here. Now it's just blah blah I failed here, my work out was awesome.

I'm not fully stopping. I feel like i'll post when maybe I make something new I'm proud of. Maybe when I have an awesome something, anything, to share. We'll see. I just need a break right now.

I'll continue to work out and i'll continue to have my failures and successes. Life my friends! Maybe I should just accept that i'll always be just a little chubby? I'm not fat. I know that. I'm just, soft in a few areas. But, after 2 years of trying and never being able to pass the 30 pound mark I initially set, is that a sign? Is that the world telling me that I should accept myself the way I am and jut stay consistent in it?

Who knows.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


1 hr commute took 2.5. I'm grumpy! Thank Goodness I ate this huge breakfast...

7:30 a.m: 1 hard boiled egg


12:15 p.m: Same as last night's dinner, minus the egg.

3:30 p.m: A big ass, gooey, soft and crunchy, chocolate chip walnut perfection cookie. Worth it. So worth it. From Le Gourmand. I googled the photo and I was caught doing it and now I must look like a fatass. Yea so what?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


9:00 a.m: Egg salad sandwich (hah!) It's been a while and I was starving for breakfast. It's all I could think of to eat!

Also, boot camp starts again today. Yayyyyyyy!

Had some delicious chocolate that came all the way from France.

1:30 p.m: Veggie/tofu curry with brown rice.

Exercise (6:15 p.m): 1 hr boot camp. Circuit with machines. 

7:45 p.m: shake. Almond milk, protein powder, banana, nut butter, ice

9:30 p.m: stir fry in coconut oil. Sweet potato fries roasted in olive oil with spices. Nutritional yeast over it all. 1 hard boiled egg.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Monday, July 1

Ok. Now I'm really back.

I've been so off track and its affecting everything. My mood, the way my clothes fit, just... Everything. 

3:00 p.m: 3 scrambled eggs with butter and loads of spinach.

9:00 p.m: Went for sushi with friends. Didn't overdo it so it was ok. Also quickly walked away from the Yogurty's next to it.